His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a loud shriek of laughter. The hair on his arms stood on end in sheer irritation. Who dared to interrupt his solitary thoughts? His cold, piercing eyes scanned the park for the source of laughter. Looking down he saw them... sitting on a bench chewing away on their lunch like mad cows. They were trying to attract as much attention as possible. Two teachers from BDM. How dare they invade his special place!
Eugene had a strong dislike for these two teachers in particular. They had tried to ingratiate themselves with him on a number of occasions, often saying “hi” in passing. But he could see right through their smarmy superiority and would barely acknowledge them. He knew that they looked down on him as a lowly toilet cleaner and considered themselves to be “Top Dogs” at BDM. Eugene wasn’t having a bar of it. He didn’t need their friendship. What could they possibly have to offer? They were like the Head Girl and her fey lap dog following eagerly behind. Him cackling raucously at her every word. Bet she couldn’t get a real man! Besides, Eugene already had someone else on his side at BDM. Why would he need that cocky pair when he had his special connection with their boss Paul – otherwise known to Eugene as “Paula”. Paula and Genie had, by coincidence, met through one of Genie’s contact ads.
INSERT CONTACT AD HERE
It was only when they had planned to meet at Genie’s place that the two had realised they had met somewhere before. When Genie first opened the door, Paula had no idea what lay behind the thickly applied maquillage and dusty pink silk negligee. She had no idea that Genie was in fact Eugene the toilet cleaner! But as Genie invited Paula into her quaint lounge room she noticed a feminine bounce that she had seen somewhere before. Paula was struck by Genie’s hair. It seemed all too familiar. Sure, it had been set and sprayed liberally with lacquer, but there was no mistaking that luscious head of curls.
Paula was petrified! She didn’t know whether to reveal herself, to make a beeline for the door or whether to play it cool. She nervously adjusted the lapel of her indigo pantsuit.
“Would you like a port and lemonade Paula?”
Paula’s prayers had been answered. If there was ever a time she needed some booze this was certainly it. Paula told herself to keep cool, loosen up and enjoy herself. It wasn’t very often she could be in the company of a like-minded individual.
“Make mine a double, Genie! In all honesty it’s quite nerve-wracking meeting someone for the first time – all things considered.”
“No problem Paula, I know exactly how you’re feeling. Just make yourself at home,” Genie smiled welcomingly, showing off her chipped, coffee-stained teeth. Paula sat calmly sipping her port and lemonade and listened to Genie’s nervous banter about her fashion likes and dislikes. Genie was into anything feminine, tasteful and mature – none of the modern stuff that Paula usually went for. She liked to be noticed. But they did share one special love – their love of stockings. Genie went into great detail about when she first discovered her grandmother’s stockings in the dresser and how she was instantly drawn to the feel of the material. How she stretched the stocking over hand and how it hugged her hand and gave her such pleasurable sensations, even at the age of six. Genie also went on to describe how she was transfixed by the seam of the stocking and longed for a time when she would be alone in the house and free to enjoy her grandmother’s hosiery in private.
Genie continued on for what seemed like an eternity. Paula clinked the ice cubes in her empty drink, hoping Genie would get the hint, stop rambling and fetch another port and lemonade. Genie continued on and on. Finally, Paula couldn’t stand it any longer. She stood up suddenly, dropping her empty glass in the process and stamped her foot. Genie was stunned by the clunk of Paula’s white sandal on the tiled floor and the shattering glass that punctuated the moment.
“Look Genie! I’m really sorry to interrupt you, but I have to tell you something! I know exactly who you are, and I think you know me too! Let’s not beat about the bush any longer!” Swaying drunkenly, Paula ripped her wig off to reveal a thinned out wispy grey do damp with perspiration and bedraggled after being contained under her auburn bobbed wig. She smeared the coral lip-gloss off her lips in a Tootsie moment. Genie gasped animatedly. There was a moment of stunned silence as Genie’s mouth gaped open and Paula stood there defiantly. The air was so thick you could cut it with a cleaver. "I... I...", Paula couldn't quite find the words as they both burst into fits of laughter. Like a couple of schoolgirls.
The evening passed in a merry haze of port and lemonade, and the pleasant discovery that they had so much in common. There was one sticking point. Paula was a little freaked out by Genie’s intense fascination for Princess Diana. Never having been a Diana fan, Paula, a stuanch Republican, managed to smile as Genie painstakingly showed off her Diana scrapbook and other memorabilia. Paula, had done a course at Sydney Community College on keeping a memory album and gave Genie a few encouraging tips on improving her scrapbooks. As Genie pawed through her scrapbooks she would point out her favourite frocks, declaring Di the most graceful, feminine woman ever to walk the planet. A real English rose. Genie gushed animatedly over her favourite blue silk drop-waist gown with matching headband. “How eighties!” Paula thought, as she feigned interest and her mind trailed off, titillating herself with visions of Genie vigorously scrubbing toilets in full drag. She couldn’t erase the thought from her mind.
The highlight of the evening was when Genie did her “blackface” Diana Ross routine.
“Call me MISS Ross!” squealed Genie as she pranced around in a fringed minidress, go-go boots and severe fright-wig, miming the words to “Chain Reaction”. She had it down pat. Not to be outdone, Paula fumbled through her drag bag and pulled out her Celine Dion wig and back-to-front faux Armani suit in white. She preferred Celine’s more upbeat techno remixes and boogied on down as Genie screeched with delight.
